Unfiltered

When I began crying while watching "The New Normal" and "Go On" last night (both of which are sitcoms, not dramas by the way), I realized that something was up. I may finally be having the emotional release the school warned us about when we started back in May. But it's not massage that's brought it on, or at least not specifically massage, but a combination of things. I recently began receiving acupuncture treatments last week and all of this emotional upheaval began shortly after my second treatment this past Monday. The first treatment last week had me feeling great and relaxed at first, then a little more melancholy a few days later, but it seems the second one stirred something up in me.

I've been going to a community acupuncture clinic, which is different in that you get your treatment in a room while resting on a recliner with several other people getting treatments at the same time. This usually means that there are only one or two therapists walking around and checking in on people and giving the treatments. On Monday, I had been sitting with the needles in for about an hour when I started to feel restless and wanted to get out of there. It took about another fifteen to twenty minutes for the therapist to make her way over to me to get the needles out. Since Monday, I have felt out of sorts to say the least. My massage practices in class have felt unfocused, I've had random crying jags, and I've just felt sort of introspective, unsure of myself, and exhausted.

There are a few other things going on that may be contributing to this. We've had a lot of polarity classes at school lately and a few of the moves have been particularly intense and/or painful for me, making me more aware of where I hold things physically and emotionally in my body. I also started a polarity liver flush drink on Monday morning. I didn't really notice much of a change from the drink, besides having to pee every 5 minutes for a few hours after, until I moronically went out for beers after class the other night (moronic drinking beer, not hanging out with my awesome classmates of course). That night, I kept waking up feeling super nauseous, and then I woke up the next morning with horrible stomach pains that lasted through the morning until I was able to down some toast and tea. This is not a normal reaction for my body to have after a couple drinks so it told me that the liver flush was actually doing it's job. I know it should be common sense not to drink alcohol while on a liver cleanse but I was too tempted by half off beers and good company to really think that one through. Sometimes you have to live and learn.

I have a couple of clients this afternoon in the clinic so I'm hoping that giving treatments provides me with some relief today and doesn't exacerbate things. Sometimes I go into treatments feeling tired and come out energized and sometimes I go in feeling great, and come out feeling off. I believe it totally depends on the clients and how much I feel like I am able to tune into them (though that can depend on the day as well). I've definitely had enough clients now so that I can sort of tell who I connect with and who I don't. I also scheduled my first yoga classes in months for tomorrow and Saturday and I know that I always leave yoga feeling better. And, I have another acupuncture treatment tomorrow. This reaction obviously means it's doing something to me so I think I need to keep it up for a while to see if I level out. I love the meditative quality even though sometimes it can be hard to sit with yourself for an hour when you're feeling ungrounded, which makes me sure that it's just what I need right now.